24 Mai 2014

Where my skin begins


i woke up from the same dream:

falling backwards, falling backwards
’til it turned me inside out.
now i live a waking life
of looking backwards, looking backwards;
a model citizen of doubt
 
until one day i had enough
of this exercise of trust.
i leaned in and let it hurt,
and let my body feel the dirt.

when i break pattern, i break ground.
i rebuild when i break down.
i wake up more awake than i’ve ever been before.
 
still i’m pinned under the weight
of what i believed would keep me safe.
so show me where my armor ends,
show me where my skin begins.

like a final puzzle piece
it all makes perfect sense to me…
the heaviness that i hold in my heart belongs to gravity.
the heaviness that i hold in my heart’s been crushing me.
 
i’ve been worried all my life,
a nervous wreck most of the time.
i’ve always been afraid of heights,
of falling backwards, falling backwards.

i’ve been worried all my life.
 
’til one day i had enough
of this exercise of trust.
i leaned in and let it hurt,
let my body feel the dirt.
when i break pattern, i break ground.
i rebuild when i break down.

i wake up more awake than i’ve ever been before.
 
still i’m pinned under the weight
of what i believed would keep me safe.

so show me where my armor ends,
show me where my skin begins.
like a final puzzle piece,
it all makes perfect sense to me…
the heaviness that i hold in my heart belongs to gravity.
  
the heaviness in my heart belongs to gravity.
Sleeping at Last, Pluto  

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